Never watch The Others with your wife!

       I ain't only talkin' to ya'll rednecks out 'dere, this one's fur erebody.  E'r since I've started this here blog, my wife has kinda grown an interest in Gothic literature.  I thought that was kinda cool, cause I like Gothic literature as well, but as most of ya'll know out 'dere, with my experience, women in Gothic lit never turns out well.
       So here's what happened.  I got home frum a long day uf work a couple days ago and she kept on asking me if we could watch The Others.  I told 'er that it wus kinda scary and reminded 'er how she don't take to kindly to scary movies, but she insisted.  So, as any good husband would do, I let 'er have 'er own way.  Throughout the first half of the daggum movie, she just wuldnt' shut up.  Kept on askin' a whole buncha questions. I'm tryin' to enjoy the movie and she's askin' 'bout God knows wut.  But the weirdest thing happened.  After the scene where Grace's husband, Charlie, comes back (well, let's say, "comes back."), my wife got silent and stayed that way fur the rest of the movie.  I looked over at 'er a cuple times, and she just had blank look on 'er face. I don't even think she blinked fur the rest uf the movie.  After the movie ended, we just hit the hay.  Nothin' out of the ordinary.  But da nex day, she started acting perrty peculiar.  She started carryin around my 12 gauge where ever she wint.  I didn't wanna question 'er why she started carryin' my gun around cause there was enough bird shot loaded in it to ruin my weekind if she pulld dat trigger.  I just figured she wanted to act like Nichole Kidman for a little while, so I didnt worry about it.  But here's tha thing, she's still carryin the damn gun around! Its bin 4 days! I'm perrty much waitin' at 'er hand and foot, doin' most erything she wants me to do cause I'm afraid of what she'll do.  But today, it finally hit me, I'm actually livin in a damn Gothic story.  Ya see, a popular thang to happin in a Gothic story is a role reversal between men and women.  I know what ya'll rednecks are thinkin, when you imagine a role reversal, you probably think of this....

    

But really, it is a whole lot deeper than 'nat.  It can affect the couple's mental state, it can even drive them crazy enough to wanna do away with each other completely.  There are a ton of examples of stories where men and women go thru sumthin' like-'kis.  For starters, we'll back to The Others real quick.  Grace definitely wears the pants in that house.  Her husband goes to war and she has to raise two kids all by her lonesome.  Disregarding the ind of tha movie, that sure is impressive for one woman to be able to raise a family like-'kat.  Also, in What Lies Beneath, Clair is finally able to get rid of her husband Norman, cause she's the real man in 'nat relationship right 'dere.  Metaphorically speaking of course.  And of course, in Water Ghosts, Chloe has control over Richard in a sense ('specially in 'nat weird bedroom scene).  Point is, I feel like one of these guys.  And here's ma real problem.  Perrty much all these stories, well, the guy ends up dyin.  So i've come up with a list of rules for my fellow redneck husbands out 'dere so this never happens to ya'll.

5)       Never try to understand your wife by using fancy science or logic.  Didn't work in The Yellow Wallpaper, so it ain't gonna work for you.    

4)       Give your wife freedom.  Never try to control her.  Gonna turn out real bad fur ya if ya do.  

3)       Even though ya might thank she's being crazy by claiming to here voices and wut not, ya gotta at least make an effort to try to believe her, brother.  Ya never know, she might be right.   

2)       Just don't let 'er go near yella wallpaper or any big 'ole wisterias.  Just gonna have to take my word on that one 

1)       Finally, I shouldn't even have to say this one, but, NEVER CHEAT! Ya'll will wind up at the bottom of a lake if ya do this along side of Norman and Richard.   

I ain't too sure wuts gonna happen to me.  Gonna just have to wait this one out I guess.  

Love your wife, enjoy your life, 

Sean Prince