Water Ghosts and Rednecks

      First off, I wanna start by sayin', my wife and I are jus' dandy.  Erything worked out.  Didn't mean to alarm ya'll with my last entry.  But fur this entry, I'm gonna elaborate a bit on my last one.  I'm gonna talk more about the book Water Ghosts.  I'll give ya'll my encounter with water ghosts, you redecks will 'injoy that one.  Will discuss one uf the opnin' scenes of the book.  And finally, as a special treat fur my fellow rednecks, I'll translate it so ya'll will understand better.
       So fur anyone who ain't e'r read Water Ghosts, I'm gonna give ya a quick synopsis (fancy werd fur summary) on how it begins.  Alright, so three woman basically appear outta no where in a Sacramento China town.  One uf 'em is the long lost wife of a man that goes by the name of Richard, another is a prostitute named Chloe who Richard particularly 'injoys "visiting" (I'll git to that in a second).  The last one is a psychic woman named Poppy.  So Richard sure likes spending time at a brothel where Chloe "works."  The first encounter we see at the beginning of the book is perrty daggum weird.  I mentioned it a bit in my las' entry.  I wus talkin' 'bout role reversals in men and woman, and this scene with Chloe in the bedroom is a perfect example.  Ya see, the book describes how Chleo feels different since she started living at the brothel.  The exact werds frum the book are "she is of an untouchable caste."  Alright guys, caste kinda means "class."  Like we're all in tha workin class.  Make sense?  So if she's in an "untouchable caste" (or class), what does that mean? Fur me, I take it kinda like she feels empowered.  Like nothin can bring her down or hurt 'er, no one can even touch 'er.  But ain't this a strange feelin' for a prostitute to have.  Not to be offensive to those women, but I wuldn't describe thim as "untouchable." I mean shoot, pertty much eryone is "touchin" a prostitute right?.... Lord I apologize for dat 'dere comment, may have been a little too rude.  Anyway, I take it as like she feels that she wears the pants, know wut I mean?  Men come to her, not the other way around.  Usually, the man is supposed to wear the pants, so this is when the role reversal starts.  When her and Richard are layin' in tha bed together, Richard lays his head on 'er chest.  Now I dont know about ya'll, but when my wife and I are layin' down for the night, she puts her head on my chest.  Another kinda strange thing that Richard does is ask fer Chloe to say his real name, Fong Man Gum, over and over agin'.  Know im sure a lot of you guys know that sometimes a nice lady will like hearing you say 'er name to 'er.  Ain't that strange, jus' a man bein' polite really.  But a man asking to hear a name that he don't no longer go by over and over again? Jus' more role reversin' goin' on here.  So wut in the heck does this all mean? Wut might it be tellin us 'bout Richard?  The way I see it, It ain't jus' tellin' us a little somethin' 'bout Richard, its actually tellin' us 'bout all men erywhere.  A real man can admit that there's bin a time where he thought what it might be like to be the "little spoon."  E'ry man like bein' the provider in the relationship, but sometimes he likes bein' cared for, I ain't ashamed to admit to that one.  And I'll tell you wut, when my wife throws on camo and muddy boots, well I think that's the perrtiest that she's e'r looked.  She likes bein' the one to make decisions sometimes, so I let her.  Excuse me ladies if sayin this is inappropriate but men gotta let woman feel "untouchable."  They keep us around for some reason, its the least we can do ain't it?  So that is wuts goin' on in Water Ghosts.  
       Alright, as promised, I'm gunna give ya a story that happened to me once that inspired me to write this.  So I was at my fishin' hole real early one Sunday mornin'. So early that fog still sat on the water that looked like glass.  Thru the fog I saw a long haired creature that looked like she was walkin' on the water.  I started realin' in my line and was gonna git the heck outta 'dere cause i was more nervous than Paris Hilton in a spellin' bee.  She got closer and I realized it was just Bubba's wife.  Bubba is my buddy I play poker wit' on Tuesdays.  She was ridin' on some fancy paddle board that ya can stand on.  She wus more surprised to see me than I wus to see her.  She said that she likes to go out on the lake when Bubba does somethin' stupid so she can relieve some stress... She's out on the lake a lot.  The story she told me reminded me exactly of Richard and Chloe. Apparently Bubba don't like to be called Bubba in the bedroom, she says he makes 'er call him Cleatus Buttermaker.... I didn't even know Bubba's real name until she said that and I laughed so hard I dropped my tackle box.  But hey, e'ry guy likes bein' treated like-'kat e'ry now and agin, even in Gothic literature.  
 
I just thought this picture might help ya'll visualize and give ya a laugh.

Shoot some deer, drink some beer,
Sean Prince