Water Ghosts and Rednecks

      First off, I wanna start by sayin', my wife and I are jus' dandy.  Erything worked out.  Didn't mean to alarm ya'll with my last entry.  But fur this entry, I'm gonna elaborate a bit on my last one.  I'm gonna talk more about the book Water Ghosts.  I'll give ya'll my encounter with water ghosts, you redecks will 'injoy that one.  Will discuss one uf the opnin' scenes of the book.  And finally, as a special treat fur my fellow rednecks, I'll translate it so ya'll will understand better.
       So fur anyone who ain't e'r read Water Ghosts, I'm gonna give ya a quick synopsis (fancy werd fur summary) on how it begins.  Alright, so three woman basically appear outta no where in a Sacramento China town.  One uf 'em is the long lost wife of a man that goes by the name of Richard, another is a prostitute named Chloe who Richard particularly 'injoys "visiting" (I'll git to that in a second).  The last one is a psychic woman named Poppy.  So Richard sure likes spending time at a brothel where Chloe "works."  The first encounter we see at the beginning of the book is perrty daggum weird.  I mentioned it a bit in my las' entry.  I wus talkin' 'bout role reversals in men and woman, and this scene with Chloe in the bedroom is a perfect example.  Ya see, the book describes how Chleo feels different since she started living at the brothel.  The exact werds frum the book are "she is of an untouchable caste."  Alright guys, caste kinda means "class."  Like we're all in tha workin class.  Make sense?  So if she's in an "untouchable caste" (or class), what does that mean? Fur me, I take it kinda like she feels empowered.  Like nothin can bring her down or hurt 'er, no one can even touch 'er.  But ain't this a strange feelin' for a prostitute to have.  Not to be offensive to those women, but I wuldn't describe thim as "untouchable." I mean shoot, pertty much eryone is "touchin" a prostitute right?.... Lord I apologize for dat 'dere comment, may have been a little too rude.  Anyway, I take it as like she feels that she wears the pants, know wut I mean?  Men come to her, not the other way around.  Usually, the man is supposed to wear the pants, so this is when the role reversal starts.  When her and Richard are layin' in tha bed together, Richard lays his head on 'er chest.  Now I dont know about ya'll, but when my wife and I are layin' down for the night, she puts her head on my chest.  Another kinda strange thing that Richard does is ask fer Chloe to say his real name, Fong Man Gum, over and over agin'.  Know im sure a lot of you guys know that sometimes a nice lady will like hearing you say 'er name to 'er.  Ain't that strange, jus' a man bein' polite really.  But a man asking to hear a name that he don't no longer go by over and over again? Jus' more role reversin' goin' on here.  So wut in the heck does this all mean? Wut might it be tellin us 'bout Richard?  The way I see it, It ain't jus' tellin' us a little somethin' 'bout Richard, its actually tellin' us 'bout all men erywhere.  A real man can admit that there's bin a time where he thought what it might be like to be the "little spoon."  E'ry man like bein' the provider in the relationship, but sometimes he likes bein' cared for, I ain't ashamed to admit to that one.  And I'll tell you wut, when my wife throws on camo and muddy boots, well I think that's the perrtiest that she's e'r looked.  She likes bein' the one to make decisions sometimes, so I let her.  Excuse me ladies if sayin this is inappropriate but men gotta let woman feel "untouchable."  They keep us around for some reason, its the least we can do ain't it?  So that is wuts goin' on in Water Ghosts.  
       Alright, as promised, I'm gunna give ya a story that happened to me once that inspired me to write this.  So I was at my fishin' hole real early one Sunday mornin'. So early that fog still sat on the water that looked like glass.  Thru the fog I saw a long haired creature that looked like she was walkin' on the water.  I started realin' in my line and was gonna git the heck outta 'dere cause i was more nervous than Paris Hilton in a spellin' bee.  She got closer and I realized it was just Bubba's wife.  Bubba is my buddy I play poker wit' on Tuesdays.  She was ridin' on some fancy paddle board that ya can stand on.  She wus more surprised to see me than I wus to see her.  She said that she likes to go out on the lake when Bubba does somethin' stupid so she can relieve some stress... She's out on the lake a lot.  The story she told me reminded me exactly of Richard and Chloe. Apparently Bubba don't like to be called Bubba in the bedroom, she says he makes 'er call him Cleatus Buttermaker.... I didn't even know Bubba's real name until she said that and I laughed so hard I dropped my tackle box.  But hey, e'ry guy likes bein' treated like-'kat e'ry now and agin, even in Gothic literature.  
 
I just thought this picture might help ya'll visualize and give ya a laugh.

Shoot some deer, drink some beer,
Sean Prince
       

Never watch The Others with your wife!

       I ain't only talkin' to ya'll rednecks out 'dere, this one's fur erebody.  E'r since I've started this here blog, my wife has kinda grown an interest in Gothic literature.  I thought that was kinda cool, cause I like Gothic literature as well, but as most of ya'll know out 'dere, with my experience, women in Gothic lit never turns out well.
       So here's what happened.  I got home frum a long day uf work a couple days ago and she kept on asking me if we could watch The Others.  I told 'er that it wus kinda scary and reminded 'er how she don't take to kindly to scary movies, but she insisted.  So, as any good husband would do, I let 'er have 'er own way.  Throughout the first half of the daggum movie, she just wuldnt' shut up.  Kept on askin' a whole buncha questions. I'm tryin' to enjoy the movie and she's askin' 'bout God knows wut.  But the weirdest thing happened.  After the scene where Grace's husband, Charlie, comes back (well, let's say, "comes back."), my wife got silent and stayed that way fur the rest of the movie.  I looked over at 'er a cuple times, and she just had blank look on 'er face. I don't even think she blinked fur the rest uf the movie.  After the movie ended, we just hit the hay.  Nothin' out of the ordinary.  But da nex day, she started acting perrty peculiar.  She started carryin around my 12 gauge where ever she wint.  I didn't wanna question 'er why she started carryin' my gun around cause there was enough bird shot loaded in it to ruin my weekind if she pulld dat trigger.  I just figured she wanted to act like Nichole Kidman for a little while, so I didnt worry about it.  But here's tha thing, she's still carryin the damn gun around! Its bin 4 days! I'm perrty much waitin' at 'er hand and foot, doin' most erything she wants me to do cause I'm afraid of what she'll do.  But today, it finally hit me, I'm actually livin in a damn Gothic story.  Ya see, a popular thang to happin in a Gothic story is a role reversal between men and women.  I know what ya'll rednecks are thinkin, when you imagine a role reversal, you probably think of this....

    

But really, it is a whole lot deeper than 'nat.  It can affect the couple's mental state, it can even drive them crazy enough to wanna do away with each other completely.  There are a ton of examples of stories where men and women go thru sumthin' like-'kis.  For starters, we'll back to The Others real quick.  Grace definitely wears the pants in that house.  Her husband goes to war and she has to raise two kids all by her lonesome.  Disregarding the ind of tha movie, that sure is impressive for one woman to be able to raise a family like-'kat.  Also, in What Lies Beneath, Clair is finally able to get rid of her husband Norman, cause she's the real man in 'nat relationship right 'dere.  Metaphorically speaking of course.  And of course, in Water Ghosts, Chloe has control over Richard in a sense ('specially in 'nat weird bedroom scene).  Point is, I feel like one of these guys.  And here's ma real problem.  Perrty much all these stories, well, the guy ends up dyin.  So i've come up with a list of rules for my fellow redneck husbands out 'dere so this never happens to ya'll.

5)       Never try to understand your wife by using fancy science or logic.  Didn't work in The Yellow Wallpaper, so it ain't gonna work for you.    

4)       Give your wife freedom.  Never try to control her.  Gonna turn out real bad fur ya if ya do.  

3)       Even though ya might thank she's being crazy by claiming to here voices and wut not, ya gotta at least make an effort to try to believe her, brother.  Ya never know, she might be right.   

2)       Just don't let 'er go near yella wallpaper or any big 'ole wisterias.  Just gonna have to take my word on that one 

1)       Finally, I shouldn't even have to say this one, but, NEVER CHEAT! Ya'll will wind up at the bottom of a lake if ya do this along side of Norman and Richard.   

I ain't too sure wuts gonna happen to me.  Gonna just have to wait this one out I guess.  

Love your wife, enjoy your life, 

Sean Prince

Let's talk 'bout tobacca and a fancy werd, "metaphors"

       Who don't like 'a nice pinch a skoal or copenhagen from time to time?  Erybody does.  I've been spittin tobacca as long as I can remember as a matter 'a fact.  My wife has been naggin' me lately tryin to git me to quit, so don't tell 'er that I've been hidin' it from 'er.
       Now, I'm gunna take a shot inna dark and guess most of ya'll rednecks out dere don't know what "metaphor" means, or maybe y'all just cain't remember from yer schoolin' days.  That's why I'm here though, to remind ya.  A metaphor is used to compare to completely diffrent thangs.  I'll give ya'll some examples that ya might understand.  Ya know that Zac Brown band song, "Whatever it is"?  The openin' line is, "She got eyes that cut you like a knife."  Now, the perrty little country gurl that Zac is talkin' 'bout don't actually have eyes that could physically cut ya;  It's just a metaphor for how ya might feel when that perrty girl sets her eyes on ya.  Ya'll understand now?
       Metaphors are used a whole buncha times in Gothic Literature.  I'll give ya'll an example that I know ya'll can relate to.  I was readin' a book called Beloved, It's about a couple of slaves who were able to escape and gain nere freedom.  The house that the black woman lives in is haunted by 'er daughter that she killed in order to protect 'er (I know that sounds a bit goofy but that aint what this particular post is about; I just wanted to give yall some background info).  Anyway, that black woman had a male friend named Paul D.  As ya'll may have guessed, he went thru some awful, awful tuff times as a slave.  He got to the point where eryone he loved, would get killed or he'd lose 'em for ever somehow.  Because of this, he promised himself that he ain't gonna love nothin anymore.  He even calls his heart "a rusty tin of tobacca."  Now why would he compare (remember that metaphor word)  to a rusty tin 'a chew?  What might that mean?  Well, the way I see it, as much as I hate to admit it, tobacca is poison and harmful.  Us rednecks are bound to lose our teeth cause of it.  So Paul D is sayin that he's been hurt so much that his heart has turned inta a can of poison.  Ya'll may have not known this one, but if it wasn't for tobacca, America ain't even have ever survived.  It was our main crop and our first and foremost way to make some money back in da colonial days.  As a nation, we thrived on tabacco; it kept us alive.  What in the human body keeps us people alive? The heart!  However, when tobacca grows, it can kill the soil frum where it came if not cared fer correctly.  So this "rusty tin of tobacca" killed the spot where Paul D's heart used to be.  It is filled with poison frum all the daggum hard times he's been thru.  Yet at the same time it's the only thing keepin' him alive.  This metaphor works on many different levels and reveals a whole lotta things about Paul D as a man and a character.  Gothic Literature is filled wit' metaphors, so I hope ya'll found dis useful.


  
Ya see the similarities?... No ya don't, that's why it's a metaphor....
Turn em and Burn em,
Sean Prince      

This here is  redneck film review for The Shinning  

       

As much as I like nature and bein out in the sticks and wut not, them first few shots of the film where it was just hoverin’ over landscapes really set an ominous tone.  It reminded me of the first several pages of the “Fall of the house of Usher” where the narrator went into dark descriptions of the house and property.  We as the viewer and reader received descriptions of the setting in which the action wus gonna take place.  And ill tell you what, if I ever laid a finger on my son, like Jack Nicholson did, my wife woulda slapped me so hard, I woulda fell asleep for a longer time than Rip Van Winle.  Then again, I aint a ghost like Nicholson’s character was, so I can see why his wife was scared of him.  Ya see, we know that he is a ghost because of the use of mirrors in the film.  In every scene, and I mean every daggum scene, that there is a mirror, a ghost is present.  Most of the time, Nicholson is communicatin’ with a ghost, but in the end we discover that he is a reincarnated crazy guy, which makes him a ghost as well.  Mirrors and doubles are ay common in Gothic Literature as well.  In “The Fall of the House of Usher,” Usher has a twin sister, that is a double in and of itself.  Also, the cook in The Shining, you know the colored feller... Oh pardon me, I mean, African American Feller, sorry about that... He could communicate with the supernatural.  The colo- I mean, African American Character that can communicate with the supernatural is all over the place in Chesnutt’s “Po’ Sandy.”  We see a whole buncha Gothic traits in The Shinning

-Mirror scene wit' da Keeper's ghost
 
-Another mirror scene wit' dat dere creepy ole' lady's ghost

Change the oil, Plow the soil,
Sean Prince

This here is a poem I wrote about wut to expect In Gothic Lit (shortened word for Literature)...

Ya know when yer wif is naggin ya to do stuff,

“Take out the trash, trim the hedges, clean the gutters!

or I aint makin your hotcakes with butter!”

Be careful brother

She might have a haunting drivin’ her to the edge faster than the Duke’s General Lee.

That is a distinguishin’ feature of Gothic Literature

Just like every good ole’ country band needs a fittle and the lead singer carries a Buck Knife,  

In most Gothic Literature, there is gonna be one helluva crazy wife

There are a ton more of these “distinguishing features” in Gothic Lit

Some keep on keepin on with this blog for a bit

Y’all won’t be disappointed....  

Kick the tires and light some fires,

Sean Prnce